Sleepless night thoughts: Friendship

It’s half past midnight here, and after trying different things to finally be able to sleep, I arrived to the conclusions that all’s been in vain because I’m not feeling nearly as tired as I should and my mind is going multiple crazy directions. I’ve decided to talk to you about one in particular because it’s the one that’s been troubling me the longest: friendship.

I think it’s fair that I start by admitting to you and to myself that I haven’t the greatest history with friendship, and it’s been like that for my whole life. I’m going to be honest. I tend to get bored with people rather quickly and even if it’s a person that I considered to be very important and precious, I end up tossing away our friendships because of stupid reasons.

I don’t know why I do that, but I think it’s because I tend to get stuck on the person’s bad things. But then again, I can’t deny that it’s also because I’ve made horrible mistakes and I’ve hurt my friends in so many different ways. Anyways, the thing is: I know I lack maturity in that aspect of my life and I’m trying super hard everyday so that I can be less crappy…

Actually, I believe that this whole new mindset I have, came with the living abroad experience. Being there brought me friends with whom I learned the real value of friendship for the first time. They became the friends that I’d like to have by mi side for the rest of my life, and the ones to whom I can finally say with all security « I love you ».

So, even though I already had these precious fiends in my life, I came by some very interesting people in college. They’re very different from the first ones but I like them a lot, and I hope that with time and patience and good behavior from my part, we’ll become closer and can ultimately consider each other real friends. I know I still have a long way to go with them, and I’ll probably make mistakes, but I’m sure that as long as they keep being these people who’re worth fighting for, I’ll make all the efforts needed. I promise!

Now I know what it is feels like to have precious friends in my life, and I don’t want to stop myself from filling my life with the joy that comes with them.

Special thanks to my beloved girls Lola and Héloise, to whom I owe the greatest feeling.

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