LOVE as seen by me.

Oscar Wilde said: « Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance« , and maybe that’s the problem we all have. I mean, let’s be honest here, ever since we were little with Disney movies and all the way through adulthood with romantic movies (although for me and I guess for many of you it is mostly in books) we’ve been taught that true love comes from a fantastic (and frankly uthopian) story in which the girl finds her heart getting flustered for the firs time by a guy, who has had a history, but who suddenly finds himself being swept away by the girl’s innocence or unique character (as he has never found that in other women). I think we’ve all noticed this particular pattern and even though in the more modern times it may have changed a bit, I still believe that there are some common points. We like to think that both men and women are past the stone age but then, we realize that two of the most popular movie franchises of this time are the Twilight Saga and the Fifty Shades of Grey series and everything becomes clear: Oscar Wilde was right.

However, if I admit his theory is absolute then I would have to admit that I’m absolutely screwed, because I’ve already had my first love (I’m even past the second one, I think) and truthfully speaking, even though I care for him, not even in my wildest nightmares have I dreamt of « getting old surrounded by our grand children » (as Rosalie so tenderly declared in the Eclipse movie). In addition, and this being the most important reason, I haven’t found the guy to whom I want to be the happy ending.

In spite of every obstacle I’ve faced with men, and in spite of becoming an obstacle myself, I came to realize that the actual problem that both men and women have is that we expect too much of one another; as if the world wasn’t expecting enough of us, we try to find our perfect mate and hoping for them to stay by our side for ever. BAD NEWS: it doesn’t work like that. Love can’t be achieved because it isn’t a goal and it can’t most definitely be found because it isn’t a clue. Love is both a way to care for oneself and for someone else and as such, you have to walk through it, stumble sometimes and continue learning from you and your partner that none of you are perfect and that you should be thankful you have each other.

I wanted to write about this because I’m sure that, like me, many of you out here (single or taken) are wondering about the love of your lives and keep playing little games online or taking test on magazines, to figure it out. But you know what? What’s bound to happen, will happen. Don’t rush it and don’t try to avoid it. In the mean time, you should enjoy your life (says the girl while petting her dog and drinking whine).

 

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