Today was a great day. It was one of those days in which you wake up in the morning thinking everything is going to be as it always has been and then, something not so good happens and it ruins your mood. But at the end of this very specific type of day, in an almost-magical moment, you experience something that changes, not only your mood, but the entire way you conceive your place in this world.
After yet another day in which I made another big mistake and continued questioning every decision I ever made and how these led me to live my life in constant anguish, I had the most amazing conversation with someone with whom I never thought I would have it. Surely, this person has little to no idea how much her words meant to me or how much she helped ease my mind my letting me see how perfect life really is.
I’m not going to give you much detail about the contents of my thoughts or the topic of the conversation, but I am going to share with you the thing I discovered today.
Before, when I said that life is perfect, I didn’t mean that everything in life is or must be good or that somehow everything just has to be in a certain way to be right. No. What I meant by those words is that, even though it sounds like the biggest cliché on earth, everything really happens for a reason and everything you get to do or don’t, really is for the better.
You have no idea how much time I’ve spent repeating this to myself, trying to find a reason to believe in me and to convince myself that I didn’t entirely ruin everything in my life. But then, haven’t we all done this at some point in our lives ? And if you’re someone reading this and you have never experienced this, believe me, you will. The fact is: no one really believes it until one day something happens and after that everything just kind of falls into place.
So, after years of asking myself if every moment, happy or sad, and if every decision, good or bad, was worth it; I just convinced myself that I’m right where I’m supposed to be, that everything I’ve been through led me here to this very moment to do what I’m doing, and I love it. Tonight, I came to love every little aspect of my life, be it sour or sweet, because they gave me the chance to laugh, to cry, to go down trying and continue learning. Yes, I’ve made huge mistakes, but I love those too because if I take them out of the equation, I would not be where I am now and even less the person I am now, and though flawed, I love those too.
This is to everyone out there doubting themselves, questioning whether you’re doing fine or not. I wish for you to find the strength within you to believe that your life is exactly the way it’s supposed to be, that if you keep going forward with the best attitude, in time, that life will be the best one for you.
P-S: I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise to post frequently but it was hard to find the peace of mind to do so. After all, the purpose of this blog is not to come here and vent myself but to write something that could be interesting to anyone. I will do my best from now on !