1 casualidad y 35 años.

Después de muchos años de no pasarme por aquí, me entraron las ganas de contarles algo increíble que me pasó hace algún tiempo. Resulta que, por hacerme la vida más sencilla, mis padres decidieron mudarse de la casa en la cual vivíamos, a un lugar que estuviera más cerca de mi universidad. En el proceso de encontrar el que sería nuestro nuevo hogar, visitamos un montón de apartamentos y de casas por diferentes barrios del sur de Cali. El problema era que, siempre había algo que nos disgustaba o no nos convencía, y ya empezábamos a desesperarnos.

Como por casualidad, llegamos a una unidad que, a primera vista, nos encantó a los tres. Fue como si, de un momento a otro, hubiéramos encontrado el lugar al que pertenecíamos. Poco sabía yo de lo que en realidad iba a representar para mí…

Hoy, 5 años después, estoy convencida que la vida está llena de casualidades hermosas y que es gracias a una de ellas que te conocí. Hace exactamente 5 años estuve en tu cumpleaños número 30 porque tu mamá estaba convencida que yo debía estar ahí y, aunque en su momento me pareció extraño y fue una de mis tardes más incómodas, ahora compartimos unos palitos chinos que compraste con el bono que te regalé ese día.

Creo habértelo dicho antes, pero te lo quiero repetir siempre: no sabes lo agradecida que estoy con la vida por haberte puesto en este mundo y por haberte puesto en mi camino.

Eres alguien que me hace reír, que me hace enojar, que me agobia, que me tranquiliza, que me sorprende, que me entristece, que me hace feliz, que me hace crecer. Estando contigo me cuestiono pero pierdo el miedo de enfrentarme al mundo siendo quién soy. Tu me haces querer vivir el presente pero también haces que quiera planear un futuro. Tu eres mi mejor amigo y la persona con la que quiero seguir compartiendo mis sueños.

Hoy, que es tu cumpleaños 35 (porque para mí sí que es importante), quiero decirte que te deseo lo mejor de este mundo. Deseo que todos tus sueños se hagan realidad, que puedas vivir tus días siendo feliz haciendo las cosas que amas. Deseo que nunca te falte el amor de las personas a tu alrededor y que siempre tengas a alguien que, cuando lo necesites, sepa recordarte lo increíble que eres. Deseo que puedas descubrir mil lugares más y mil pasiones más. Pero, más que nada, deseo poder estar contigo en el resto de tus cumpleaños.

Esto no es una propuesta de matrimonio (para que no te asares). Simplemente quiero que leyendo esto puedas sentirte al menos una milésima de lo feliz que me siento yo de poder compartir contigo este día.

Un mensaje lleno de amor y lamidas para mi Papita favorita.

Today.

Today was a great day. It was one of those days in which you wake up in the morning thinking everything is going to be as it always has been and then, something not so good happens and it ruins your mood. But at the end of this very specific type of day, in an almost-magical moment, you experience something that changes, not only your mood, but the entire way you conceive your place in this world.

After yet another day in which I made another big mistake and continued questioning every decision I ever made and how these led me to live my life in constant anguish, I had the most amazing conversation with someone with whom I never thought I would have it. Surely, this person has little to no idea how much her words meant to me or how much she helped ease my mind my letting me see how perfect life really is.

I’m not going to give you much detail about the contents of my thoughts or the topic of the conversation, but I am going to share with you the thing I discovered today.

Before, when I said that life is perfect, I didn’t mean that everything in life is or must be good or that somehow everything just has to be in a certain way to be right. No. What I meant by those words is that, even though it sounds like the biggest cliché on earth, everything really happens for a reason and everything you get to do or don’t, really is for the better.

You have no idea how much time I’ve spent repeating this to myself, trying to find a reason to believe in me and to convince myself that I didn’t entirely ruin everything in my life. But then, haven’t we all done this at some point in our lives ? And if you’re someone reading this and you have never experienced this, believe me, you will. The fact is: no one really believes it until one day something happens and after that everything just kind of falls into place.

So, after years of asking myself if every moment, happy or sad, and if every decision, good or bad, was worth it; I just convinced myself that I’m right where I’m supposed to be, that everything I’ve been through led me here to this very moment to do what I’m doing, and I love it. Tonight, I came to love every little aspect of my life, be it sour or sweet, because they gave me the chance to laugh, to cry, to go down trying and continue learning. Yes, I’ve made huge mistakes, but I love those too because if I take them out of the equation, I would not be where I am now and even less the person I am now, and though flawed, I love those too.

This is to everyone out there doubting themselves, questioning whether you’re doing fine or not. I wish for you to find the strength within you to believe that your life is exactly the way it’s supposed to be, that if you keep going forward with the best attitude, in time, that life will be the best one for you. 

 

 

 

P-S: I’m sorry I didn’t keep my promise to post frequently but it was hard to find the peace of mind to do so. After all, the purpose of this blog is not to come here and vent myself but to write something that could be interesting to anyone. I will do my best from now on !

 

 

LOVE as seen by me.

Oscar Wilde said: « Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance« , and maybe that’s the problem we all have. I mean, let’s be honest here, ever since we were little with Disney movies and all the way through adulthood with romantic movies (although for me and I guess for many of you it is mostly in books) we’ve been taught that true love comes from a fantastic (and frankly uthopian) story in which the girl finds her heart getting flustered for the firs time by a guy, who has had a history, but who suddenly finds himself being swept away by the girl’s innocence or unique character (as he has never found that in other women). I think we’ve all noticed this particular pattern and even though in the more modern times it may have changed a bit, I still believe that there are some common points. We like to think that both men and women are past the stone age but then, we realize that two of the most popular movie franchises of this time are the Twilight Saga and the Fifty Shades of Grey series and everything becomes clear: Oscar Wilde was right.

However, if I admit his theory is absolute then I would have to admit that I’m absolutely screwed, because I’ve already had my first love (I’m even past the second one, I think) and truthfully speaking, even though I care for him, not even in my wildest nightmares have I dreamt of « getting old surrounded by our grand children » (as Rosalie so tenderly declared in the Eclipse movie). In addition, and this being the most important reason, I haven’t found the guy to whom I want to be the happy ending.

In spite of every obstacle I’ve faced with men, and in spite of becoming an obstacle myself, I came to realize that the actual problem that both men and women have is that we expect too much of one another; as if the world wasn’t expecting enough of us, we try to find our perfect mate and hoping for them to stay by our side for ever. BAD NEWS: it doesn’t work like that. Love can’t be achieved because it isn’t a goal and it can’t most definitely be found because it isn’t a clue. Love is both a way to care for oneself and for someone else and as such, you have to walk through it, stumble sometimes and continue learning from you and your partner that none of you are perfect and that you should be thankful you have each other.

I wanted to write about this because I’m sure that, like me, many of you out here (single or taken) are wondering about the love of your lives and keep playing little games online or taking test on magazines, to figure it out. But you know what? What’s bound to happen, will happen. Don’t rush it and don’t try to avoid it. In the mean time, you should enjoy your life (says the girl while petting her dog and drinking whine).

 

My comeback.

So, it’s been like what? Two years since I last posted something in here? I guess it has been that long huh. Well, this time around I’m staying with you for a hell lot longer than before and this is because, today, at this late hour, I decided that I have some (many) things that I wish to tell you and that those things are worth being talked about.

Believe me, this in not about therapeutical writing because I happen to keep a diary for that. This is me deciding that I’m going to stop keeping my ideas just for myself. I mean, even if I know my readers are few (close to none), it still means a lot to me of this blog were to reach at least one person.

Twenty four months later, I am introducing a renovated blog full of words that represent me in a way that only my Instagram account can. Here, I’m going to talk about my daily life (for those people who can’t seem to find anything better to do than to pay attention to other’s business), the ups and downs of living it, my passions, my life goals, my dreams, my love life…It’s really like I’m just turning my Instagram account (@vmontesparra) into a written blog with a touch of Tabasco spicy sauce.

I hope to entertain you with a high variety of subjects that only I can talk about because, at the en of the day it was, it is and will always be MI LIFE EN MOTS.

 

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